I need to be honest, here:


The most valuable thing I ever had in my entire life was my IQ; being one corner of the big random mess I acquired at birth called ‘gifts and talents’.

I had a lot of them. Maybe they’re still there; I dunno. Most of them seem to have shrivelled up and died.

Gifts and talents seem to be the kind of thing you only get to keep if you constantly give them away; constantly donate to humanity. I’m not going to list them or anything. It’s not a bragging matter. In fact in some ways they’ve been a terrible burden.

I need to be honest here: I’d gladly have given away half of them, even half my IQ points, just to have Purpose; an inner compass that could have steered the rest of them (still plenty) onto some sort of meaningful, sustained, path.

Or to have the feeling of belonging somewhere. To a community, or a village, or a family … or even to just one steady lover.

Or to be surrounded by love; by people who are grateful for my quirks; who will catch every curve-ball I throw and send it bouncing back for another swing, whether it be a fragment of song, a movie reference, a word I just invented. Whatever it is. Playmates, in other words.

Or to get hugs. Just some frickin’ hugs, every day. ‘Just-because’ hugs; know what I mean?

I need to be honest here: I’d trade MORE than fifty percent of all those glorious/useless things I was given at birth, just to fit.

And stay.

And contribute.

Philip Grieve
In memory of my kid-brother Philip who, on reflection, got the exact deal I’m talking about. I never really got to know you, Bro’.

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